A letter to say goodbye, written by one brave young woman. So proud of you.
A 90 minute interactive talk led by dietetic interns at Massey University and Garalynne Stiles, NZRD.
Come and learn about normal healthy eating, tips on how to re-feed your child, how to interpret weight changes and how to manage fullness.
Venue: New Zealand Eating Disorders Clinic
52 College Hill, Freemans Bay, Auckland
Cost: $50 per couple(others acting in the parental role are welcome – please arrange alternative care for your children)
Next date: Thursday 11th April 7pm
Family Based Treatment (FBT) is a behavioural treatment empowering parents to manage their child’s eating disorder through a firm, compassionate focus on renourishment efforts with gradual transition of control over eating back to the adolescent to enable a quick return to normal child or adolescent development, reflected in both eating behaviour and daily life.
We are excited to announce two important training opportunities end of February 2019 with Kellie Lavender from NZEDC for Family Based Treatment (FBT).
FAT TALK was a powerful evening and a safe space for those living in larger bodies or who generally feel uncomfortable in their bodies to have open and honest conversations about weight. Everyone left with a renewed sense of hope that the only path to happiness is not, in fact, by changing our bodies, but by changing attitude to our bodies and getting skeptical about the fat phobic messages we receive from multiple sources on a daily basis.
NZEDC holds some concerns about the message of the paper, which has arrived at the conclusion that current specialised treatments have no advantages over comparator treatments as usual in terms of psychological symptoms and no advantage in terms of weight recovery at follow up.
We are concerned that the message this paper inadvertently sends could do significant harm to patients and their families and to clinicians and we believe that the message to this paper needs to be refined.
The New Zealand Eating Disorders Clinic has kicked off 2018 with an exciting start.
We had Professor Dr James Lock from America come to New Zealand to train clinicians from Australia and New Zealand in Family Based Treatment. We had an awesome turn out to this, with clinicians now feeling trained and ready to help.
We also had a big move, where we moved locations from Pollen Street to College Hill into a bigger space with more rooms.
We are excited to welcome our new team member on board with the NZEDC team ‘Emma Thomas.’ Emma's passion lies in helping women to break free from disordered patterns of over-eating, and those caught in the cycle of dieting and bingeing, which leads to feelings of failure and guilt. If you head to our website you can find out more about her there.
Have a lovely weekend.
The NZEDC Team
Greetings and Happy New Year to everyone,
Only 6 six weeks to go!
Registrations are filling but there are still spaces available for both the introductory as well as the advanced FBT training with Prof. James Lock from Stanford, USA, assisted by Kellie Lavender, NZEDC.
2 day Training: Family Based Treatment - 5 and 6 March 2018
A unique opportunity to be trained by the world renowned expert and originator of Family Based Treatment. The training will qualify for potential certification.
1 day Workshop: Advanced FBT - 7 March 2018
The advanced day is for those already trained and practicing in the FBT model. The day will cover topics/challenges that can occur during treatment and will involve case discussion as well as teaching components.
Topics include along with many others:
- Lack of early weight gain
- Management of high expressed emotion and distress
- Role of adjunctive treatments - which treatments? When?
- Lack of progress over time
Please bring along case studies to discuss directly with Jim and Kellie.
The day will also address modifications made to FBT for clients presenting with Bulimia, ARFID and for the Transitional Age Youth (TAY) population.
AND: There will also be a ‘Questions and Answers’ session for parents at the end of day 2 of the FBT training (6 March).
All registration enquires to Jess Putt, NZEDC office manager email@example.com
All best wishes,
Journal entry ~ 14/12/17:
‘When you hit half-way’
I am currently stuck in one position, my hands by my side and feet cemented to a particular 30cm radius of the earth. I stand face forward to the brick wall that I have come up against (time and time again). In fact, I don’t think a brick wall is a very accurate description as it is not a brick wall at all. It’s semi-transparent and I can sort of but sort-of-not see through to the other side. When I’m feeling up to it my spine allows me to twist in the opposite direction and recapture the image of my footprints - those that have brought me thus far and landed me in this very position, at this very moment in time. I am encouraged to move in this way but I find it rather strenuous so when I do turn around I usually have a good reason.
I don’t like where I am right now. It feels uncomfortable. It feels tight and ill-fitting.
I am sure you know how it feels to have all the pieces of a puzzle at your fingertips and the incapacity to complete the image. Maybe it’s the exhaustion that throws you, after all – you have just spent what feels like an entire lifetime finishing that first half, you don’t feel particularly enthused about exerting this same energy on the other. Or perhaps it’s pure disbelief. It has taken you months, maybe even years (I know you have a half-completed puzzle hiding on a top shelf somewhere!) to make that gesture toward the box, taking it down from the shelf, sweeping off the dust and fumbling your way around the thousand-or-something-bonkers-number of pieces that are hidden inside. We all feel a little bit like this sometimes; stale, frustrated, immobilised.
This is me. I am the girl who has recovered from anorexia so much to say that she can see her future, hazily but with still some clarity; the girl who has mastered the art of ‘taking longer than expected’ and who is left still, expecting something more than what she has now.
In my recent reading of Emily T. Troscianko’s ‘Recovering from Anorexia: How and Why Not to Stop Halfway’ (absolutely one of the most honest & inspiring articles I have read in a very long time: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/201402/recovering-anorexia-how-and-why-not-stop-halfway) a number of chords were struck in relation to my own current state of ‘stuckness.’
Some examples are as follows.
“How do you get past the in-between stage of having regained some weight but probably not enough, of not being sure whether it’s enough, of finding it awful enough already and not believing you can bear anymore, of knowing this isn’t being well again but fearing going any further?”
“One of anorexia’s most fundamental characteristics seems to be the combination of a high degree of insight and the complete inability to act on it.”
“The ‘low end of healthy’ (which, as I hope I’ve shown, is not a meaningful concept for an individual) may be where you always wanted to be, but it now gives you the worst of both worlds: you’re nowhere near thin enough for your anorexia, and at the same time you’re missing out on all the benefits of going all the way to what healthy actually means for you.”
“I didn’t want to stop halfway and be forever wondering what might have happened if I hadn’t. I wanted to do this thing properly. “You can’t predict everything about recovery, and that’s part of what makes it scary, because anorexia needs predictability. But you can predict most things, and that makes it scary too, because anorexia hates being predictable. Embrace the fear, though, and you will be rewarded, in beautiful ways both predictable and unpredictable.”
It isn’t that I don’t know what my goals are because I do. I have always known them. It is the amount of time, space, and freedom that has been given to this illness that makes it so hard for me to regress. I am aware of the progress and the change that has been made thus far, and I am so proud of this, but I am equally aware that I have spent months standing, bewildered and shaking in my shoes, before this semi-transparent wall. Too much of something so obscure can do one of two things, 1) invite you to turn back to the familiar, or 2) motivate you to explore what lies beyond.
Every inch of me yearns for that option number two but the force of anorexia is always at work, luring me back into the ‘certain safety’ of option number one. As I wake from my sleep I am again presented with the choice of which voice to pursue – two very different manners in which I could live out my day.
I know that there is more freedom there somewhere. I can feel it. I just need to find it.
As I reflected on thanksgiving yesterday, one of the things I was most thankful for is my freedom. This thought made me remember a time when recovery and freedom seemed impossible and it felt like I would be stuck with anorexia for the rest of my life.
I grew up having an amazing life with parents that loved me and friends that I adored but one day everything changed. When I was 14 years old I was with my friends and one of them made a comment saying that I was fat. These words shook my world and began to shape my thinking so when I looked in the mirror I no longer saw myself as beautiful but instead I viewed myself through the words she had spoken,I didn’t like what I saw and the anguish associated with her words was so painful I decided to change my appearance.
Little by little I cut out food and did more exercise, this made me feel good about myself but I didn’t realise that I was in a dark downward spiral which would never be satisfied. It trapped me to the point where I couldn’t eat anything and I had to do a certain amount of exercise each day, otherwise the guilt, fear and anxiety would flood in and it would feel like torture.
I went to a dance audition to secretly use it as a tool to exercise, I had never really danced before. Little did I know that dancing would help save my life, I got into the crew and to my surprise, I became passionate about dance and enjoyed been part of the group. We competed regionally but didn’t get through to nationals. Then three weeks later on the day where the doctor told me that there was no hope for me anymore and that I was been hospitilised, my dance crew got through to nationals.
I remember sitting in the doctor’s room thinking I have a choice. I have a choice of whether I am going to let anorexia take this opportunity away from me or whether I am going to begin to fight anorexia and take my life back. I begged my doctor for a chance to prove to her that I could fight it.
I began pushing through the lies, fear and guilt and I started eating again so that I could go to nationals. This was not easy at all, inside I was screaming and on the outside there were constant tears. I used to sit with my journal and write down every lie that came into my head while eating, then I would replace it with something positive about me.
I made it to nationals and we won that year which inspired me and gave me hope to be anorexia free.
I kept fighting and little by little I got my life back. Today I want to tell you that there is hope for you and that even though freedom may seem impossible or like a bad or scary word to you now, recovery is possible and it is so worth it.